Alone, Edgar Allan Poe, 나 홀로, 에드거 앨런 포

 

Alone

Edgar Allan Poe

From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were—I have not seen
As others saw—I could not bring
My passions from a common spring—
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow—I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone—
And all I lov’d—I lov’d alone—
Then—in my childhood—in the dawn
Of a most stormy life—was drawn
From ev’ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still—
From the torrent, or the fountain—
From the red cliff of the mountain—
From the sun that ’round me roll’d
In its autumn tint of gold—
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass’d me flying by—
From the thunder, and the storm—
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view—



Edgar Allan Poe wrote "Alone" in 1829, shortly after the death of his foster mother, Frances Allan. The poem was not titled or published in Poe's lifetime, but was discovered after his death and published posthumously in 1875. In this autobiographical poem, a speaker describes his lifelong feelings of loneliness, isolation, and difference. His intense imaginative life, he writes, is a curse, forever setting him apart from other people. But it's also a blessing, the source of his visionary power. 


Summary
Ever since I was a child, I haven't been like other people. I've never perceived things the way that other people perceived them. And I couldn't get excited about the same things that other people did. I haven't been sad for the same reasons, and I've never felt the same happiness that others could. Everything that I loved, I loved all by myself. Back then, when I was little, at the start of my turbulent life, I discovered—for better or worse—the mysterious force which still has a hold on me. That mystery comes to me from waterfalls or springs, from the red rock mountainside, from the golden fall sun that spun round me, from the lightning shooting past me through the sky, from the rumbling of thunderstorms, and from the cloud that once took the shape (while the rest of the sky was blue) of a devil, in my eyes... 

 

Themes

Loneliness, Isolation, and Difference
The speaker of “Alone” has always felt markedly different from those around him. It’s not just that he has different tastes or beliefs than most: he seems to live in a totally different world, in which he experiences things much more intensely and imaginatively than other people. And while that sense of being different feels like a burden to this speaker, it’s also a source of identity, vision, and inspiration. To this speaker, being alone is both a blessing and a curse—and it's part of his very nature, making him who he is. 

From earliest childhood, the speaker has felt out of step with the people around him. His passions didn’t come from “a common spring,” and his sorrows didn’t come from “the same source” as other people’s. Similarly, he couldn’t “awaken [his] heart to joy” in the same way that others could. It’s not that he didn’t experience passion, sorrow, or joy at all: rather, he was into different things than those around him, and this difference kept him from fitting in. While other people shared joys and sorrows, he experienced everything in solitude. 

The things that have set the speaker apart throughout his life aren’t only to do with his likes and dislikes, but with the actual way he sees the world. The speaker says that as far back as he can remember, he didn’t “see/As others saw.” Instead, he perceived a deep, haunting “mystery” in the everyday world, seeing “demon[s]” in clouds and strange power in the landscape. To him, the world has always felt magical and menacing: nothing is ordinary, in his eyes. Because other people can’t share these visions, he ends up living all alone in a private world of the imagination. 

Both the speaker’s tastes and his perceptions mean that he’s eternally and profoundly alone. But while this fate is painful, it’s also its own reward. The mysterious force that makes the speaker see and feel things differently from those around him “binds [him] still”: in other words, he feels trapped by his perceptions. At times, he might even feel that he’s living in his own personal hell: the cloudy “demon” that he sees in a clear blue sky suggests that his private world is often more dangerous and threatening than the everyday world of the people around him. 

But there’s something exalted about his aloneness, too. The very things that isolate the speaker also make him special. He seems to recognize the complicated beauty of his lonely fate, saying that his way of seeing the world was “drawn/From ev’ry depth of good and ill.” In other words, for better or worse, his isolation is part of being in contact with the extreme and mysterious depths of his own soul—the very depths you need to plumb to be a poet. 

​

나 홀로

 

어릴 때부터 난 남들과 달랐네 -
남들과 달리 보았으며 -
내 열정은 그들과 같은 샘에서 나오지 않았고 -
내 슬픔도 그들과 같은 근원에서 오지 않았으며 -
그들이 즐거워할 때 내 마음은 따로 놀았네 -
내가 사랑한 그 모든 것을 - 나 홀로 사랑했네 -
그때 - 내 어릴 때 - 
폭풍처럼 험난한 인생의 그 새벽에 - 
모든 선과 악의 깊은 골짜기에서
지금도 날 사로잡고 있는 그 인생의 신비를 보았네 -
급류와 깊은 샘에서 -
높은 산의 검붉은 절벽에서 -
황금빛 가을 색 속에 찬란히 빛나는 태양에서 -
내 곁을 섬광처럼 지나가는
하늘의 번개에서 -
우레와 폭풍에서 -
그리고 (나머지 하늘은 푸르게 맑을 때)
내 눈에 악마처럼 보였던
구름에서 -



​
이 시는 에드거 앨런 포가 20세인 1829년 쓰였지만, 그가 죽은 1849년보다 한참 후인 1875년 발견되고, 그제야 발표되었다. 
어릴 때 주변 사람들과 자연스럽게 어울릴 수 없었던 시인 자신의 특성과 외로움, 번민 등을 읽을 수 있다.
포는 아주 어릴 때 어머니를 잃고, 아버지는 그를 버리고 떠나, 입양되어 자랐다. 양아버지와는 사이가 좋지 않았고 의지하고 있던 양어머니는 이 시를 쓰기 직전에 죽었다.  
어려웠던 유년 시절의 경험과 그의 천재적 시적 감수성이 주변 사람과 그를 확연히 갈라놓고 있음을 이 시에서 느낄 수 있다.

​'어릴 때부터 난 남들과 달랐네 - '
(From childhood’s hour I have not been As others were)
라고 하였다. 시인은 그가 남과 다르다고 말한다. 

'다른 사람들과 보는 시각이 다르고' (I have not seen as others saw), 
'열정' (passions), 
'슬픔' (sorrow), 
'기쁨' (joy)들이 다른 사람들과 공유되지 않는다. 

그가 사랑하는 것들은 자신만이 사랑하는 독특한 것이다.

'내가 사랑한 그 모든 것을 - 나 홀로 사랑했네 - '
(And all I loved - I loved alone - ) 
라고 하였다.

그 어린 시절에 앞으로 펼쳐질 험난한 그의 인생을 결정할 '신비' (the mystery which binds me), 즉 운명이 결정되었다고 시인은 말한다. 

​선과 악, 앞날이 '좋을지, 나쁠지' (good and ill) 그때 정해진 것이 지금도 '자신을 옭매고' (the mystery which binds me still) 있다는 것이다.

그러한 징표를, 
'급류' (torrent), '샘' (fountain), '산의 검붉은 절벽' (red cliff of the mountain), '가을 황금빛 속에 빛나는 태양' (sun in its autumn tint of gold), '번개' (lightning), '우레' (thunder), '폭풍' (storm), '구름' (cloud) 등에서 보고 있다. 

​시인은 푸른 하늘 속 '구름에서 악마의 형상' (the cloud that took the form of a demon in my view)을 보고 있어, 미래를 암울하고 비관적으로 보고 있음을 시사한다.